Anxiety!

So in our everyday life we meet dozens and dozens of people accidentally, or we just get introduced by some of our good friends. 

Many of us experience a social anxiety when we meet someone unknowingly or who is new to you.

Unfortunately when meeting someone, our brains are in over drive. Our brains become lean and hungry. Some of us are fighting off shyness others are busy in sizing up the situation. We’re deciding what if anything we want from this potential relationship. So we think too much instead of responding. Such actions are dangerous to impending friendship, love or commence.

So, the only time we don’t need to worry about any shyness or negativity slipping out through our body language is when we feel none. That happens when we’re chatting with our close friends. Isn’t it? When we see someone we love or feel completely comfortable with, we respond warmly from our head to toe without a thought. Our lips part happily, we step closer, our arms reach out, our eyes become soft and wide and even our palms turn up and our bodies turn fully toward our dear friend.

Here’s a visualization technique that would accomplish all that. It guarantees that everyone you encounter will feel the warmth.

When meeting someone play a mental trick on yourself. In your mind’s eye see him or her as an old friend, someone you had a wonderful relationship with years ago. But somehow you lost track of your friend. You tried so hard to find your good buddy, but there was no listing in the phone book. No information online. None of your mutual friends had a clue.

That’s where the pretending stops. Obviously you are not going to try to convince the new person that the two of you are really good friend. You are not going to hug and kiss each other. You would say, “Hello” “How do you do?” “I’m pleased to meet you” But, inside it’s a very different story.

You will amaze yourself. The delight of rediscovery fills your face and rises up your body language. 

Giving a compliment.

The risk in giving a compliment face-to-face is of course that the recipient will assume you are indulging in shameless pandering to achieve your own greedy goals.

It's a sad reality about compliments. If you lay a big one out on your boss, your friend, or your sweetie, the recipient will probably think you’re brown nosing. So what is the solution? Hold back your sincere esteem?

Do It Behind Their Back.

Instead of telling someone directly, tell someone who is close to the person you wish to compliment. For instance, suppose you want to be in the good graces of Gunjan. Don’t directly compliment Gunjan. Go to her close associate, say Poorva, and say “You know, Gunjan is a very dynamic woman. She gives a damn when no one else bothers about you. She is different, she is special”. Now I place ten to one odds, your comment will get back to Gunjan within 24 hours. Though exceptions are there, if it is a guy chances are there that your comment would take some more time. As they are more bothered about things which really matter. Well, it’s my view anyway.

A compliment one hears is never as exciting as the one he overhears. A priceless way to praise someone is not to chase for the moment to shoot a compliment, not by telephone, not by pinging them, not by scripting a long poem but by telling a mutual friend. This way you escape possible suspicion that you are a bootlicking, egg sucking, back-scratching creep trying to win the golden points. You also leave the recipients with the happy fantasy that you are telling the whole world about their greatness

These are my views anyway :) Comments are appreciated to make it an engaging one.

Much Love
-Sri