Why it is difficult to date an Indian girl in general.

I am an Indian girl studying in a college . Let me begin by saying that I am "very easy to date". I socialize, interact with people, have loads of male friends, make the first move and have dated many guys. And I have broken up with guys and guys have broken up with me too. I move on and am honest about everything I do and feel. Neither do I get dependent on the person I am with nor do I cry and crib if they leave.

I study in a college which treated me well initially. I was popular. People liked me, asked me out, became friends with me. It did not make me uncomfortable. I was just fine with it. I never restrained myself. I did not shun anyone rudely. I did not refrain from being comfortable with guys. I did not hide my relationships. 
And then things changed. I was labelled a whore, by girls and boys alike. Because, I "dated". 

People used to call me a slut because I used to accept their friend requests on Facebook without being good friends with them. Incidentally, Facebook is a "social network" that is meant for connecting better with people. But apparently only a girl with a loose character can add people from her own college!! And of course, if a girl who is your batchmate, with whom you have 60 mutual friends has added you, it means "Come have sex with me." In no way does she mean that she trusts your maturity and finds it worth staying in touch with the so called ignited minds of the country!

I thought that like the popularity, the infamy would not affect me either. But it did. I used to cry. I decided to withdraw. Guys who asked me out went on to tell their and my (girl)friends to not stay in my company because that would ruin their image, and those "friends" took that advice. It's ironic that the very people I politely said no to started saying that I would sleep with anyone. At a point of time, I actually started doubting my own dignity. Had I really compromised it? I stopped interacting with people. I am not on Facebook. And I no more feel like going out with anyone. Because I am tired of getting disappointed (from the reaction it generates from those around me). I am not open to dating anymore.

I realized that I had probably been wrong. Not because of my actions or lifestyle. But because of expecting more from the people around me, than they are prepared to deliver.

I have started mass-rejecting requests for friendships, hiding things from people, "katao"ing (shunning) anyone who talks to me without having a solid work-related reason. Like my respected friends, I say that I never drink or smoke even though we girls do have in-hostel parties. Needless to say, I never masturbate (only guys are allowed to do that). I maintain that I hate casual encounters and everyone who has them. I use the phrase complicated/confusing/different friendships instead of flings. I now help us women fulfill the roles defined for us by others. I in fact, strengthen those expectations. Only if you keep the benchmark high, will you achieve good quality objects right? I help our society move towards creating perfect girls i.e. virgin teetotalers who believe in finding eternal love in one or maximum two tries . Either by falling in love with the first person they kiss, or by gradually falling in love in an arranged marriage. Yaay! Cheers to sanctity!

Our society is simply not ready for things like dating. It boasts of being modern. It is not. It judges, labels, concludes. Things like dating, sex and girls like me send a shiver down the spine of this society, which ironically, has proven to be spineless. It squirms at the thought of accepting sexuality.

I live in an environment where my dignity is thought to be less than the dignity of the girls who are not comfortable around guys. Those girls are said to be delicate, shy, pious and they deserve respect. Maybe they are. It is their way of life and it is perfectly fine. But my way of life, which is harmless but different, is blasphemy. My dignity can be compromised. People think it is okay if I am eve-teased, because I should be ready to take it. They think it is just okay to disrespect me. Because that is what I command. They confuse "easy to date" with "easy to rape". 

I do not blame them. This is how we are. Our stability gets disturbed when we move towards unconventional ways. It will take years for us to change. Maybe we never will. 
So the answer to your question lies in re-framing it. It is not difficult to date an Indian "girl". It is difficult to date a girl in "India".

India

We have the best malls now,
With the best brands lined up wonderfully inside
And copies of the same brand are available,
At throw away prices at the adjacent roadside

To see how the poor and wealthy co-exist,
Imagine when we drive in an air-conditioned car
It is not at all strange to witness outside,
Beggars and slum dwellers barefoot on burning tar

Still if they beg for money or try to sell some toys,
Standing outside in weather as hot as a furnace
Why do we sitting inside the AC cooled car,
Get red hot angry and treat them like they are from outer space

“Ganga jaisi pavitra” has been used many a times in Indian cinema,
As Ganga is worshipped as a symbol of purity
Yet 2 million daily holy bathes and tons of industrial waste,
Make it one of the most polluted rivers in the country

Mumbai is the financial and entertainment capital of India,
Yet it continues to have pathetic infrastructure!
It is one of the most populous cities in the world,
But 60% of them living in slums doesn’t make for a good picture

We have our very own moral protectors of the society,
How they suddenly appear on Valentines Day is pure magic
Isn’t it strange that even after 60 years of independence,
It is OK to Piss in public but not to Kiss in public

We Boys

I published a poem describing about the teen age girls. Now, I've one for the boys, though this is not a poem, a write up and some points you can say. Comments are appreciate ( I know hardly anyone comments ._.)

Take a walk in the house with a Toothbrush 

Read the text carefully on the shampoo

bottle in the shower, as if it has something to do with.

Laugh at our jokes when we

haven't even shared it with others yet.

Hate it when the wind messes up our hair.

Have to call our own phones to find it.

.Check the time on our phones when we are wearing a watch.

Turning our pillow around so we could sleep on the cold side.

When we stay up late we count how many hours of sleep we will get. 

To start, when I saw her first. I saw her 5 years back, I'm not sure if she knew me or even noticed me at that time. As she was the "ShowStopper" of our class. The only valid reason which I find,  which gave her the title was because she was from a convent school. 

So she was the highness and got tons and tons of attention every week, every day, every minute and I don't know if every second too. 

Meanwhile,

Siddharth: I know her, she is a very good friend of mine. I scraped her on Orkut last night and she replied to it. 

We (Me, Satyam and Gaurav): *-* *-* How you do this? 

So Siddharth was the only guy who every time got the chance to talk to her and we rather enjoyed watching them talk, as it was the only option we were left with. 

After a year or so things got better and we started to interact. Things got much better and we became friends. 

All of a sudden there was a slight misconception or misunderstanding which resulted so much pain and sadness, but by the time we were appearing for our board exams we sorted out everything and we lived happily ever after :P 

I've figured out things which I don't know if it is perfect and to the point, but it is what I particularly feel about her. 

The thing that I like about her the most is, she is least bothered about what people say or think about her. She is more concerned about things which really matter. Surprisingly, till now I haven't heard anyone saying something bad about Gunjan.  

She is beautiful, cute and loves to be pampered. She is mature enough to suffocate you with advices and scold you like a mother. 

It has been a long time now, there are few flaws that I figured out, but then everyone has their own flaws and that is totally okay. I find her perfect. 

Gunjan, I'm shy when it comes to appreciate anyone on their face so I rather choose to do this in a virtual way.  Now that you know me, I assume you know such things well and can hold on to it. Thank you for being there in my life :) 

                                  (Don't come to a conclusion, that this is all what I feel. You're much more awesome. I wanted to keep this simple and want people to read this)

                                        "Gunjan is a part of my life"

 

Parts of my life| Abhishek

He is one of the guys in my life which makes it worth living. "Everyone has their own flaws but I find him perfect".
These two guys Mishra and Abhishek, they treat me more as a brother than as a friend. 

I met Abhishek 5 years ago, at first he was not so close to me but as the days passed he came into the scene and things got much better. 
He is usually very self controlled, cool headed and composed in nature. I've never seen anger on his face though there are times when he gets a little bit irritated over things but it isn't anger. He has a positive take on everything. Things are there on which I may get offended but he would always take it in a positive way. 
As I quoted, I've been with him for around 5 years and all my efforts to figure out the flaws in him have constantly failed. 

When I met him he was this chubby, cute, and short guy generally bro-zoned by many of the girls in our school but you never know what changes over time. 
Now he has evolved, improved himself and I fear that my very small fan base (which I don't know if it exits) would now be taken over by him, Sigh. 

He is single and that's the best part, we are always partners in crime and pranks on our socials unlike Mishra who has to be a little reserved because of his Girlfriend, Sigh :P

Anyhow, do not come to a conclusion Abhishek, that this is all I feel and know about you. You're way too awesome. 

                         "Abhishek is a part of my life"

Parts of my life| Mishra

His name is Siddharth Mishra but just to be a little brisk on him we call him Mishra. 
Mishra is an ideal part of my life. He is closest to me and always will be even if I have a girlfriend.( This is a taunt! take it seriously) 

We met six years back. How I met him? I would explain it in a more coherent manner. 

An ordinary day, I woke up early had all the routine done and headed to the school. I entered the class room and kept my bag where I usually used to sit everyday. I noticed a new blue colored bag which was kept just on the side of my bench where my friend Yogesh used to sit and so I ignored it with a thought that he might have bought a new bag. Later in the assembly I came to know by some of my friends that Yogesh was absent that day. I figured it out that it might the bag of some newly admitted student. I was not much excited about it, before I got admitted to Kendriya Vidyalaya the majority part of school life was spent at some of the amazing convent schools and such drastic change in the enviroment of students made me hate Kendriya Vidyalaya , though I love each and everything about it now. We all headed towards our classrooms and with the ring of a bell the first lecture started. Lately we noticed each other but we didn't interacted for the first two lectures. After the recess he made the move and introduced himself.As time passed things got even better we got indulged in some never ending immature talks.

When you meet someone you mentally try to figure out whether they connect with you or not and when I met this guy, I don't know about him but I knew right from the start that he connected with me in some or the other way. 

I believe that he has changed me in many ways. In fact every major change in my life from the day I met him is somehow related with him. 

• I never used to play Badminton, he was the reason why I developed such passion for the game.
• I thought internet was something that only adults could use until he introduced it to me. 
• He was the one who introduced to me what blogging is all about. 
• This might be silly, but my Facebook account on which I'm active now was also created by none other than, Mishra.
• He is the one from whom I get to know about what usually the girl-boy relationships are all about and he is still giving me live examples about the do's and dont's in a relationship. 
• Apart, he has been a big motivator in my life so far. Whenever I needed him he was always there.

Things are many if I dig back time and it would flood all my blog with things that not all the readers would be facinated to read. This is all!

Yes, Mishra has been an awesome friend of mine and I believe that he always will be. 

                      "Mishra is a part of my life"