Reminder

I am going to write some things, which are pretty obvious and you might have heard it from me a number of times, but I want you to let you know all of these things again and again, and I want you to remember all of these no matter what happens to us, so please go ahead.

I, I have always craved for love and comfort just from the beginning and if there is anyone who has given me that, it is you.

We fight, we do and our fights aren’t the kind of fights the others do. Silent fights, which you call it. At times I get irritated and even you do, but all of that feels worth it at least for me because if there Is someone I want to fight with in this whole world, it is you.

Both of us may get spontaneous at times, blame each other but I want us to fight for each other. If we don’t what better way is there to live?

A note to myself, which is, that running from the situation and moving away from it won’t solve it, which I always do. I am sorry. But you handle me, I have you.

We our young and may be things won’t work out the way we have planned out, but I want us to remain neutral, no hatred towards each other no matter what happens, no grudges, and most importantly I want both of us to communicate even if we are in different relationships. We have to, that is important.
I don’t know about you but I feel I would be needing you in some or the other moment of my life.

I make promises, and when I break them. I want you to understand because even I haven’t expected it in the first place to break it. Shit happens and so did this.

We have to know our limits and no matter what happens we shouldn’t cross them . We should never abuse each other.

We need to be honest to be with each other, regardless of what the opposite side would think, because if we do, it is for our good only and we would be happy .

Yes, this isn’t a contract. I don’t own you. You have your space and you can do whatever and whenever you want. But when I tell you to not do something, at least consider it because I know what the other side would be, and which would not be good for you.

I should never ever get possessive for you, because it may ruin our days together.

Whatever happens over time, we are one. You have to be there for me and I have to be there for you.

Things would get rough. Situations would change and may be even both of us also, but I hope reminders like these would help us get back to our core and remind us that we have to be together no matter what happens. :)

We crave for comforts.

We all our visitors or you can say travellers on earth, each and every one of us. Our heart already knows where we want to go, it knows our destination but it doesn’t know how to get there. We, only we can dig our own ways or routes to our destination. Some of us are very much driven to their destination that they give up everything to reach their. Some are there who aren’t bothered to get there and want to sit idle and want to watch the time pass by. But most of us, want to get there, we also are driven but we enjoy comforts. We aren’t ready to leave our comfort zones. This includes myself, I am very much hesitant when it comes to push myself and leave my comfort zone. 

Happy souls live lonely lives.

What is being lonely? Is it being alone in a room? Or is it just being alone? If this is so, then why people feel so lonely even when they are surrounded by people. Loneliness is a mindset, something in your mind, which you have to let go. The hard part is letting it go, you cannot easily do it. At first, loneliness will seem like a nasty thing, it will make you drown in emotions and pull you down to your knees.  You won’t have enough courage to get back up. So you stay, be patient and wait till it is over and one fine day everything seems to be alright. But, trust me; once you’ve learned to live alone, it is like a drug. You won’t ever wish to be with people. You would love to be alone. Do your own thing, live your own life. Bonus, there is no one to judge you too. This is the reason why happy souls live lonely lives. 

Why people will love you?

One of the simplest ironies of life is that you will always try to impress people around you in some or the other way. You will always want people to love you and for that you will do things that you haven’t planned to do in first place.
Be it the quotes or be it someone telling you to not live to impress other people but you will always do that. I know some people who live with the ideology that they are not on this planet to impress other people but they still flatter, and give false compliments to people just so that they could be in the good books of people, so that they can be loved. They jump around on their socials posting things which aren’t obvious and are just there to manipulate about how they are.
I personally feel these are all the secondary ways and aren’t real in any way to get people to like you or to love you.

Then what really is the thing by which people get attracted to you? Or seem to like you more than the others.

Work, yes work is the thing which defines you. What do you work on? Do you play a game professionally? Or you are a Youtuber? Or you do research about things? It doesn’t matter,  what matters is if you work on something or not. This is the thing which gains respect in people for you, what you work on. It can be any work, even if it is as small as sketching things it means something to people around you. In anything in which you put efforts from your heart is work, everything else is secondary.

I play Badminton. I have many friends and every 4 out of 5 friends of mine are somehow connected to Badminton. Well, what does that mean? For me it simply means that playing Badminton has helped me make an image, which has helped me getting more friends because I am being recognized now.
So, basically what I think is, work is everything for you. You have to work, work on some or the other thing for better a life.

So work people. Work on something. Don’t just sit idle.  Although sometimes it’s okay to sit idle but not all the time.

The friendship that begins in school leaves a very deep impact on almost each and every one of us. The time you spend with them, all the fun, all the pranks, all the jokes will always be one of our best memories.  The more new friends you make, the more you start missing the old ones. I have always had great friends in my school time but a number of them have always been special to me and will always be in future.  One of them is Danish.

Danish is the first genuine friend I had in Mumbai. We met in 7^th standard and after that we have been very good friends till now. Now Danish is someone who came with a blaze and was very much popular almost among everyone, be it the teachers, students of our class, students of the other class and of course girls too,(he will never accept this)  all of this because he was very good in studies.  We used to sit together for some some months when he first came. I always used to ask him “How are you so good at studies man? “and in reply he would say “Bhai , I never was good in studies right from the beginning. I used to get poor grades in my primary classes. I have started studying now only, so don’t think I am scholar material” to which I would laugh and say “Yes, yes. I know”.

A very talented individual, he was equally good in sports as he was in studies . He was very short tempered at times, his anger was something which cannot be faced by anyone, although now he has gained control over it and is completely fine.  When he was made the monitor of our class not a single one of us used to mess with his decisions, and if we did, we all knew the outcome.  Although we never had long phone calls, shared secrets, talked shit, we pretty much know each other very well.

Danish, you’ve been a very special friend of mine and will continue to be. Thank you for helping me out when I needed you ,thank you for sharing the two Parathas with me, thank you for giving me your notebooks to complete mine on time, thank you for letting me sleep in the Hindi period,  and finally Danish, thank you for being such an awesome friend.  Thank you for being there in my life.

             "Danish is a part of my life"   

Why it is difficult to date an Indian girl in general.

I am an Indian girl studying in a college . Let me begin by saying that I am "very easy to date". I socialize, interact with people, have loads of male friends, make the first move and have dated many guys. And I have broken up with guys and guys have broken up with me too. I move on and am honest about everything I do and feel. Neither do I get dependent on the person I am with nor do I cry and crib if they leave.

I study in a college which treated me well initially. I was popular. People liked me, asked me out, became friends with me. It did not make me uncomfortable. I was just fine with it. I never restrained myself. I did not shun anyone rudely. I did not refrain from being comfortable with guys. I did not hide my relationships. 
And then things changed. I was labelled a whore, by girls and boys alike. Because, I "dated". 

People used to call me a slut because I used to accept their friend requests on Facebook without being good friends with them. Incidentally, Facebook is a "social network" that is meant for connecting better with people. But apparently only a girl with a loose character can add people from her own college!! And of course, if a girl who is your batchmate, with whom you have 60 mutual friends has added you, it means "Come have sex with me." In no way does she mean that she trusts your maturity and finds it worth staying in touch with the so called ignited minds of the country!

I thought that like the popularity, the infamy would not affect me either. But it did. I used to cry. I decided to withdraw. Guys who asked me out went on to tell their and my (girl)friends to not stay in my company because that would ruin their image, and those "friends" took that advice. It's ironic that the very people I politely said no to started saying that I would sleep with anyone. At a point of time, I actually started doubting my own dignity. Had I really compromised it? I stopped interacting with people. I am not on Facebook. And I no more feel like going out with anyone. Because I am tired of getting disappointed (from the reaction it generates from those around me). I am not open to dating anymore.

I realized that I had probably been wrong. Not because of my actions or lifestyle. But because of expecting more from the people around me, than they are prepared to deliver.

I have started mass-rejecting requests for friendships, hiding things from people, "katao"ing (shunning) anyone who talks to me without having a solid work-related reason. Like my respected friends, I say that I never drink or smoke even though we girls do have in-hostel parties. Needless to say, I never masturbate (only guys are allowed to do that). I maintain that I hate casual encounters and everyone who has them. I use the phrase complicated/confusing/different friendships instead of flings. I now help us women fulfill the roles defined for us by others. I in fact, strengthen those expectations. Only if you keep the benchmark high, will you achieve good quality objects right? I help our society move towards creating perfect girls i.e. virgin teetotalers who believe in finding eternal love in one or maximum two tries . Either by falling in love with the first person they kiss, or by gradually falling in love in an arranged marriage. Yaay! Cheers to sanctity!

Our society is simply not ready for things like dating. It boasts of being modern. It is not. It judges, labels, concludes. Things like dating, sex and girls like me send a shiver down the spine of this society, which ironically, has proven to be spineless. It squirms at the thought of accepting sexuality.

I live in an environment where my dignity is thought to be less than the dignity of the girls who are not comfortable around guys. Those girls are said to be delicate, shy, pious and they deserve respect. Maybe they are. It is their way of life and it is perfectly fine. But my way of life, which is harmless but different, is blasphemy. My dignity can be compromised. People think it is okay if I am eve-teased, because I should be ready to take it. They think it is just okay to disrespect me. Because that is what I command. They confuse "easy to date" with "easy to rape". 

I do not blame them. This is how we are. Our stability gets disturbed when we move towards unconventional ways. It will take years for us to change. Maybe we never will. 
So the answer to your question lies in re-framing it. It is not difficult to date an Indian "girl". It is difficult to date a girl in "India".

India

We have the best malls now,
With the best brands lined up wonderfully inside
And copies of the same brand are available,
At throw away prices at the adjacent roadside

To see how the poor and wealthy co-exist,
Imagine when we drive in an air-conditioned car
It is not at all strange to witness outside,
Beggars and slum dwellers barefoot on burning tar

Still if they beg for money or try to sell some toys,
Standing outside in weather as hot as a furnace
Why do we sitting inside the AC cooled car,
Get red hot angry and treat them like they are from outer space

“Ganga jaisi pavitra” has been used many a times in Indian cinema,
As Ganga is worshipped as a symbol of purity
Yet 2 million daily holy bathes and tons of industrial waste,
Make it one of the most polluted rivers in the country

Mumbai is the financial and entertainment capital of India,
Yet it continues to have pathetic infrastructure!
It is one of the most populous cities in the world,
But 60% of them living in slums doesn’t make for a good picture

We have our very own moral protectors of the society,
How they suddenly appear on Valentines Day is pure magic
Isn’t it strange that even after 60 years of independence,
It is OK to Piss in public but not to Kiss in public