I have been in a relationship. A long, stable, loving, happy relationship. It has ended, for good. I don't know about the future but the things I've done, the things I've experienced while I was in a relationship were both painful, which I would never like to experience again and beautiful, totall bliss at times. Things do happen in a relationship. You understand the other person so deeply and precisely. Every day you go closer to the other person, you experience all the curves and edges of that person and it reciprocates. Relationship changes you, it makes you mature. It makes you understand what the opposite sex is all about.
Earlier you were sweet, gentle, Innocent, because you didn't knew the truth. But once it comes to you, you change. You no more care about what people think about your relationship, you care more about what you and your partner thinks about the relationship. You know, actions speak louder than words now. You love the other person, and that shows by the way you behave with them, how you keep them, how you hold them, how you talk to them, how you treat them as a whole. Talks don't do the work, actions do. This is one of the many aspects that you discover when you're in a deep relationship with someone. This changes you totally, from in and out.
I want to give myself a block to recover from this. I want to reverse all of it. I want to be the same me, who didn't knew the answer to the questions, who was gentle and was still in a discovering process. I don't want to mature. I don't want to think to a level that it starts paining, me and only me. I want to be full of innocence again.
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