Is it okay to be Single?

Days back. I started this blog and my very first write up was "It is okay to be Single".

Honestly, I wrote that just to gain peoples attention. Now that I'm being true to myself, I see that. But a statement back then has became a question now. Is it really okay to be Single?

A part of me says, yes it is. Because when you are in a relationship you are too much into the other person initially. You don't care about yourself and that is something which I did and that resulted possessiveness in the relationship, which was then the major cause of the end of it.

You'll experience some unbearable mental pain in a relationship, because it is very painful when someone you like fights with you or things aren't good with them. It will be very hard. But you'll get better after sometime and things will get better.

You experience a different kind of pain when you're single and a different kind, when you're in a relationship. True, that both the kinds of pain makes you stronger. 

Being single you go through the pain of loneliness, the pain of not being accepted by anyone, the pain that no one is there for you anymore. This kind of pain isn't so painful comparatively but it lasts long and comes back and every now and then. What you gain? You gain so much by this pain. You start to love yourself. You learn that no one gives a shit what you do and no one actually cares and it is pointless to waste your energy thinking what they might think of you. You set goals, you do things because there is time, you think about your future. Such things benefit you, but the kind of pain you experience in a relationship just makes you stronger emotionally and gives you an idea to how to deal with such situations in near future. It won't make you better in any way, it won't shape your future neither it is gonna help you achieve your dreams.

Exceptions are still there and all in all these are my thoughts and you're free to agree or disagree. As I said before, you need to realize that no one gives a shit about what you do, what you think or what you feel.

Quiting Social Networks

I've tried quiting Social networking sites. Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, all of them. Just not Whatsapp because of obvious reasons. 

To be honest for the first two to three weeks it felt miserable, because of an urge to get back and check the social feeds or may be an urge to upload something.

But it soothes up as the time goes by not because you understand the fact that why quiting is important but because you don't remember anymore. You get used to not checking your newsfeed every now and then, not uploading pictures every now and then. All of it is good, you lead a simple life all in all. But there are certain downsides which I think exists. 

One, you start to feel, lonely, depressed and most of the times I cry because for a guy like me who doesn't have much of an emotional support from anyone around (not even parents)

It is quiet obvious that I'll cry, and I cry. 

Second, I am not totally against the idea of taking selfies, just that I don't click many. But I click a lot of photos. Landscape photos and photos when I travel to new places. Then I edit them and I post this on Instagram. Slowly Instagram became a reason why I was traveling to new places just to click pictures and explore. I watched travel videos on YouTube sometimes and that gave me a kick to travel and document it somewhere. Make a video or click pictures may be. So while I quit Instagram I also quit the urge to go out, travel or explore. 

Third, I play guitar. At first I didn't used to tell anyone that I play guitar or for that matter I even have one. But lately I got a little better in it and I also sing, not nicely, but I sing. So I started posting my videos playing guitar and singing. So now I had an audience and even if no one appreciated the efforts, I knew they were watching and that too gave me a kick. Kick because I knew I have made an effort to change, and to try something new. May be at first I may get teased and made fun of but slowly the feeling that the guy does what he does would sink into their minds, and things which would be surprising to them about me would become a casual thing. That makes me happy. Because I know after sometime, the future me would have this particular skill. 

But leaving instagram may also put this down a little bit, not entirely but a little bit..

Fourth, whatever I do.  A part of me is an artist. I draw, I write, I sing, I dance and most importantly I create stuff and for an artist, an audience​ is necessary. 

Leaving social network would make the audience fade away. 

It is only because of Instagram that people know me that I sing and play Guitar.

So, there is this solution I have came up with.

I would post stuff which is important and needs to be posted. 

But I won't scroll around and see the other things happening around the socials.

I won't disappear from all of the socials but would limit the use of it. 

Use it only if I have something to post or share to the people around. Other than that I decide to refrain from scrollling.

World

According to Hinduism there are four yugas which has to be faced by this planet and according to the vedas the three has passed away and the fourth one and the final one after which this world will no more exist, which is Kalyuga, is the one in which we presently live in. 

I knew this before, what Kalyuga is. Kalyuga where all the bad things happen, humans are no more humans, knowledge is no more true, people no more have faith and where sexual intercourse is seen as the central requirement of life.  I never beleived it. As I was younger, little did I knew about this world and what was happening to it. I am grown up now and know what's happening to this world day by day. What we humans are doing to animals, and then we are the ones who call them wild. 

Peeling the skin off while they are alive, breathing, watching everything happening to them. We cut down trees and make paper out of them just to use it for making books and to study about environment conservation. We pollute the surroundings by plastic, which are non biodegradable, they stay there, and hungry animals who don't get food because the trees are cut down come and eat them, and what happens then is what they don't deserve. 

We fight for animals but at the same time have two plates of mutton biryani along with chicken crispy legs. Are they not animals? 

We fight against cow slaughter, but don't even look when they are eating garbage from the garbage dump, same story cut short, they die. 

Terrorists kill people in the name of religion and everyone else has to face the consequences, although no one is to be blamed as the anger of loosing your closed ones or your own people is far more than morals and equality, which not many can control. 

I heard about the mayan calendars claiming that the world will end, back then I was frightened by that and never wanted it to happen any time soon. Now, I want that to happen as soon as possible, I wish it washes away the humans from this planet. 

New humans should come who aren't intelligent enough to get into technology. I want everyone to lead a simple life, so every one lives, every single organism on this planet lives happily and dies happily. 

Dinal

Dinal a brother, a friend in need and a savior when I'm in boredom. I met him a long time ago and since then he has never changed, there are days when we don't talk for months  and months and still when he is back from the break, everything seems so normal as if we just met yesterday. That's the kind of friendship people dig for and I do to and I am lucky that I have him. We used to play badminton, we are big time badminton lovers and may be that is why we are so well bonded to each other from the beginning.

There are friends who know me from my childhood, there are friends with whom I be with 8 hours a day, 5 times a week but still they aren't so well bonded. I wish this bond continues and grows even more stronger as time passed by. He is a part of my life and always will be.

We have to utilize this time

"Ye jo gehre sunnate hai, waqt ne sab hi ko baate hai"
We all face loneliness and then a phase comes which makes everything alright, everything happy and loneliness fades away and just when you're quiet into enjoying this phase loneliness kicks in again, and that's how the graph of life is. It goes up and then comes back down and we cannot do much about it.
The only thing we can do is, to not feel bad when we're lonely. To do something, try to utilize this time so that when the graph comes down again you don't feel bad about it.
What I have chose to do is, writing. When graph comes down I chose to write and even if it goes up I chose to write. But the writing gets better when the graph is down because then I have something to write about. I feel more about things, I deeply realize things. I bleed more. So, I am able to write more.
So for me in loneliness something good comes out of it and I don't feel bad about it anymore.

Mumbai - The city of dreams

I've been in Mumbai for past 7 years. Mumbai has been amazing till now. It has treated me well, not nicely but how I wanted a city to treat me. It has given me days to cry and days to die for, from the hectic days in local trains to fun, stable and tension free time at beaches. I feel lucky, I live in this city. The life is fast, there is a lot of pollution out there and it feels uncomfortable at times but Mumbai has something which drives me and keeps me going. Like your first love, you cannot be detached from it even if you're uncomfortable with it. I don't have to mention the nightlife in Mumbai, almost every journal, every magazine, every newspaper has covered about it. For me it isn't about the Pubs and Bars that are in Mumbai, but it is way far than that. It is the small things like the air, it becomes lighter in the night a lot more easier to breathe in and breathe out. You could hear the sound of vehicles, horns and even trains but from very far away standing on some building's terrace and I don't know why and how, but it feels magical.The monsoons in Mumbai is something to die for, although there are heavy rains which cause a lot of trouble on the roads but there are little moments when you feel good. It can be as small as being in a traffic jam, relaxing and leaning back on the seat of you Taxi with the windows half open feeling the cool breeze and water droplets touching your body and some nice song playing in your earphones. Moments like these are remembered for years, because that is when you feel the most comfortable with yourself and it's beautiful. At times you may be at hotels which may have cozy beds and couches all around but you'll always find your comfort zone somewhere else, somewhere you can chill and relax and you feel good from within, may be on a mountain or under the sky. 

This is a conversation I had with a stranger on a train when I was coming back home after giving my competitive exam. 

Me - Hie, I'm Srikanth. 

Stranger - Hie, I'm Shivani. 

Me - Where do you live? Are you going back home or heading somewhere?

Stranger - No. I'm heading back home only. I live in Andheri. I'm new to this city. Just moved in a week back. 

Me - Wow! Welcome. So do you like it here? How has Mumbai treated you till now?

Stranger - It's good. I haven't seen much of it, but so far it's good. But I always have a fear of getting lost in this city, it's massive. 

Me - Oh! Do I look like I'm afraid now?

Stranger - No. 

Me - I'm lost too. I don't know how to get back home, but I'm figuring out somehow by asking people. See, this is why Mumbai is amazing. You never have to worry about getting lost in this city. There are local trains, Taxi's, Auto's, almost everywhere. If not them, there are people around and Mumbaikars are the best to show people their ways back home. So just roam around have fun while you're here, chill. Don't worry you're home.

Shivani is a good friend of mine now. I sometimes give her suggestions to hang out when she is in a dilemma.